書信集 第 1 章 第 12/17 段

These, my Christ, are your paradoxical wonders, () these are the works of your power and of your love for mankind, which you perform for us who are unworthy; therefore the fear of you holds me fast, and I tremble, and I am ceaselessly anxious, and am utterly consumed as to what I shall repay you, what I shall offer you in return for so many gifts, for such great compassion, for the countless gifts which you have wrought in me.

But finding nothing in myself, nothing of my own in this life, but all things your servants, all works of your hands, I am the more ashamed, I am the more grieved; I the more, O Savior, beseech to learn what I must do, so that I may also serve you, so that I may be pleasing, so that I may be found before your dread judgment-seat unaccused, O Savior, on the day of judgment.

Hear what everyone who is to be saved must do — or rather, first of all, you, who entreat me.

Today renounce at once friends, kinsfolk, and all vain glory together, and the care of things below, and take up the cross upon your shoulders; grip it firmly, and to the end bear the labors of temptations, and joyfully accept the pains of afflictions and the nails of sorrows, as a crown of glory; and being struck hour by hour by the spears of insults, and being violently stoned with every dishonor, pouring forth tears instead of blood, you shall be a martyr; and bearing mockeries and blows with entire thankfulness, you shall become a partaker of my divinity and glory.

And if you show yourself last of all, and a slave and servant, in the end I will show you to be first of them all, just as I promised.

() If you love your enemies and all who hate you, and pray from the soul for those who wrong you, and do good to them as far as you are able, you will truly have become like your Father Most High; and having thereby acquired a pure heart, in it you will see God, whom no one has ever seen.

And if you should be persecuted for righteousness' sake, then leap for joy, for the kingdom of heaven has become yours; and what is greater than this?

These things, and more than these, which I have commanded, do, and teach others — both you and all others who believe in me — if you wish to be saved and to dwell with me forever and ever.

But if you refuse and are indignant, and reckon it a shame and dishonor to suffer these things and to lay down your souls for my commandments, why then do you ask to learn how you must be saved, and by what deeds you may become intimate with me?

And why do you call me your God at all — why do you think, so senselessly, that you believe in me?

For I willingly suffered these things for your sake; I was crucified, I died the death of criminals, and it has become the glory of the world, and life and radiance, and the resurrection of the dead, and the boast of all who have believed in me — the reproaches inflicted against me; and the shameful death has become, for all the faithful, a garment of incorruption and of true deification.

Therefore those who imitate my venerable sufferings shall be partakers also of my divinity, () and shall be heirs of my kingdom, and shall become co-partakers of ineffable, unutterable good things; and they shall be with me forever.

But as for the others — who will not weep for them, who will not lament them, who will not shed a tear from a compassionate heart, who will not mourn their great insensibility, because, having abandoned life, they have handed themselves over to death, having been terribly torn away from God?

From their portion deliver me, Master of all, and deem me worthy — me, your worthless and lowest servant — to become a partaker of your undefiled sufferings, so that, as you have said, O God, I too may be a partaker of your glory and of the delight of your good things, O Word — now indeed as in a riddle and a figure and a mirror, but then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. Amen.

Thanksgiving to God for the benefits wrought by him, and a petition to learn for what reason those who have become perfect are permitted to be tempted by the demons; and, concerning those who renounce the world, a teaching and an outline spoken by God.

() You know my poverty, you know my orphanhood, you understand my solitude, you see my weakness and my infirmity; you, my God who formed me, are not ignorant, but you watch over me and know all things.

Behold a humble heart, behold it crushed, behold me drawing near in despair, my God; and give from on high your grace, give your Divine Spirit.

Give the Paraclete, Savior, send him, as you promised; send him also to me, who now sit in the upper room, Master — truly above every earthly thing, outside the whole world — seeking you and awaiting your Spirit.

Do not delay then, O compassionate one; do not overlook me, O merciful one; do not forget one who seeks you with a soul that thirsts.

Nor abhor me, O God, and do not forsake me.

() I did not labor, I did not do works of righteousness, I never kept a single one of your commandments, but passed my whole life dissolutely; yet you yourself did not overlook me, but, seeking, found me wandering, turned me back from the way of error, and upon your undefiled shoulders, in the light of your grace, you set me up again, Christ; you carried me, O merciful one, and did not let me feel any weariness at all, but, as one resting as though in a chariot, you granted me to travel the rough roads lightly, until you restored me to the fold of your sheep, until you united me with your own and enrolled me among your servants.

I proclaim your mercy, I hymn your compassion; giving thanks, I marvel at the wealth of your goodness. And having been recalled by you, as has been said, my God, and now being, as I think, wholly enslaved, fastened to the light and cleaving to you, held fast by desire for you, bound by love, I am at a loss, I am amazed, and I cannot understand: how then does affliction touch my wretched soul, how does grief intrude, how does it disturb me wholly, how does it deprive me of your sweetness, my God, and how does the affliction of earthly things separate me from joy?

Why, my Christ, do you forsake me — having sinned and transgressed so greatly, or having provoked you further, O good one — to grieve more than before, when my soul was still subject to passion?

To this the Master answered me and said: "I, taking you from the world as an infant, carried you in my arms — you surely know what I mean."

"She ministered to you well, she reared you worthily."

"Now then, being no longer an adolescent, but truly having become rather a man, and mature, already inclining toward old age, how do you wish, like an infant, now to be carried in arms? How do you ask to be swaddled again and carried?"

"How can you ask to be nourished with milk, and to be under a tutor?"

"Are you not ashamed to say these things — tell me?"

"Being a man, you should serve others and nourish them, and pursue all things conducive to their growth."

"When you receive blows, strike back unsparingly; when you fall, rise up again; do not hesitate, in turn, to shoot arrows at those who shoot at you and devise these things against you — but let those who wound you with despair be wounded, in return, by the hope sent forth from you; and let those who buffet you with anger and press upon you with wrath be struck in the face by your gentleness, and be cast outside, far from your house."

"() For you are not, as I said, an infant or a child; is there now weakness of soul in you? Is your mind now too enfeebled for resistance?"

"You know both how to flee your enemies and how to conquer them again; for in fighting you have me as fellow-worker and protector, and in fleeing you possess me as a mighty and secure shelter. And which of the things on earth grieves you — tell me?"

"Gold, or silver, or precious stones?"

"And who is more resplendent than I, or who shines forth more, or what stone is, like me, altogether beyond price?"

"Or does deprivation of lands, or want of grain, or lack of wine, trouble you at all?"

"And what other paradise is there such as I am, or what land of the transient things below is like the land of the meek?"

"...they eat and drink both noetically and with conscious perception."

"What delight, what joy, what glory, tell me, is greater on earth than to see me alone, to behold me only as in a riddle, in a mirror, to look upon the sole radiance of my glory, and through it to be taught these things, and more than these, precisely — that I, God, am creator of all things — to know and to understand that man, sitting in the lowest pit, has been reconciled to me, and converses directly, as a friend to a friend, () having surpassed the rank of a hired servant and the fear of slavery, serving me tirelessly, ministering with love, becoming intimate with me through obedience to the commandments?"

"I do not speak of those who serve me as hirelings, nor again of those who approach me in the manner of slaves, but of the deeds of my friends and acquaintances and sons; write briefly what these deeds are by nature."

"To consider oneself the most worthless of all in the world — not only of one's fellow ascetics and worldly people, but truly worse even than the pagans; to reckon a single small transgression of the least commandment as a falling away from eternal life; to regard small children as if they were perfect men, and to bow down to them as to the glorious; and likewise to render honor to the blind, since I see from above the deeds of all men — and to do these things for my sake — write these things down again as well."

"To hold nothing at all against anyone in the heart, not even so much as a bare movement or a slight suspicion; to pray from the soul, with pain of heart, out of compassion, for all who sin against you, and likewise for those who dare such things against me, seeking with tears their conversion; to bless at once those who curse you, and to praise those who out of envy continually revile you, and to regard those who wrong you as benefactors; and, as for those who do not yield or obey you — regarding them as altogether denying me, their own Master — to lament and weep for them continually; never cease admonishing them."

"...persisting in this, and completing it until death — such a one shall not partake of my eternal glory, shall not be reckoned together with him who was crucified, with me who obeyed the Father unto death, shall not stand at my right hand, shall not become a fellow-heir with those who have crucified themselves."

"Therefore do not cease admonishing, therefore do not cease weeping, therefore do not cease seeking their salvation, so that, if they should obey and if they should turn, you will have them as brothers, you will gain your own members, and you will bring them to me as genuine, obedient ones, so that I too may receive them through you, and glorify them, and offer them, together with you, to my Father as gifts."

"But if they will not renounce their own wills, if they will not despise their own souls, as I said, if they will not become dead to their own wills and live in your will during their life, through your will fulfilling my will, you shall not lose your reward, you shall not be deprived of it, but I shall grant you a double reward instead of a single one, because, even when not heeded, you did not cease from speaking, but were rather hated all the more, and turned away from and abhorred by them — just as I myself was once hated, and am now hated too, through them and through others like them."

"Do not prefer idleness, nor at all prefer anything in the world above the profit of the soul."

"() For what profit is it to one who gains the world, or to one who instructs or teaches those who are in it, or even to one who saves everyone, if he himself should not be saved?"

"Who then is he, or how is it, that, having saved others, the wretched man will not save his own soul, but will lose it?"

For this the Father said through the Son, and the Spirit spoke it, which is the mouth of the Master; the angels acclaimed it with unceasing voices, and the righteous, hearing it, fell down and said: "Incorruptible is your judgment, unimpeachable is your verdict, for you have judged without partiality, O God, all-compassionate one!"

For how shall he who has not abandoned his own will, and who has not set the will of him who represents you — as he would set your own, the Master's — in preference, and kept it inviolate, as you yourself kept the will of your Father, O merciful one, be seen as your fellow-heir and altogether a co-partaker — especially if he has not resolved to keep this until death: not to do his own will in anything, () not to be joined again to blood-kin, not to prefer flesh, which is kinship, a natural bond, an affection binding those on earth to the very things they have renounced and turning them all back again?

The martyrs cried out: "Truly a righteous judgment!"

For just as he who has readily given himself up to martyrdom, when his kinsfolk — wives and children — come and say these things with mourning: "Do you not pity your children, nor have compassion, unfeeling man, on the widowhood of your wife?"

"Nor are you bent with compassion at their poverty, nor do you consider their ruin and pity them, but you leave them orphaned, strangers, poor, and your wife a widow, and you prefer to save only yourself?"

"And how will you not rather be condemned as a murderer, since you have left us all to ruin, and seek to save only your own soul?"

...but he ought to behold you in it, Master of all, and, occupying his mind with contemplation toward you, to endure until death for your desire alone; and he ought not at all to look upon those who turn away, nor upon those who deny you and turn back again to his former self, to his former deeds, () to cares for those on earth, and for wife and children, nor to be bound by any pretext whatsoever in those things; for he no longer has authority over his own soul. Therefore many of your servants, when prisons were opened by you and the bonds of the body released altogether, did not choose at all to go outside or to flee, but remained as though still bound — so also, O Savior, those who are now in the world and who renounce the world — kinsfolk, all of them together, friends, companions, and every thing in the world, and their own wills before all these — no longer have any authority over themselves at all, but even if they are not prevented by their superiors, they owe it to you, the Master, to keep the agreement.

For they promised, not to men, but to God, to keep obedience and servitude to their superiors and to all the brothers who practice asceticism with them in the monastery.

They ought, then, to dwell in their monastery as though it were an island in the midst of the sea, and to consider the whole world altogether impassable to them, as though a great chasm were fixed all around their whole monastery, so that those in the world may not cross over to the monastery, nor those on the island cross over to those there and gaze upon them with attachment, nor turn over the memory of them in heart or mind; but they ought to be disposed toward the dead as the dead are disposed toward the dead, having no conscious perception of them at all, and thus become in truth willingly-sacrificed lambs.

At these all-holy words of the martyrs, full of longing and filled with affection toward the Master, the Cherubim, hearing them, hymned him, even in fear: "Glory to you," they said, "O King; glory to you, all-compassionate one, () who have shown forth on earth martyrs without tyrants, bearing witness to you hour by hour by longing alone!"

And those who persevere in his love alone, and die to their own will hour by hour — these are genuine friends, these are fellow-heirs, these too are martyrs by will alone, without scourgings, hangings, gridirons and cauldrons and consuming fire and cutting swords.

At this, all the supramundane orders together cried aloud: "Righteous is your judgment, all-compassionate one! Let it be written, and let it be sealed, now and unto the ages!"

For those who are already united to God from this life through participation in the Holy Spirit, departing from this life, will be with him there forever; but if not — then the opposite will come to pass there for those who are otherwise disposed here.

() The beginning of life is an end to me, and the end is a beginning to me.

Whence I have come, I do not know; where I am, I do not know; and where I shall arrive again, I do not know — wretched man that I am.

I, earth, am born from the earth, body from body, altogether corruptible from the corruptible; and, being wholly mortal, I spend a little time on earth, living in the flesh, and I die, and I begin another life, passing over from this one.

I leave my body in the earth, destined to rise again and to live an unending life forever.

Now then, look upon me, O God; now be moved with compassion, O only one; now have mercy on me!

Behold, my strength has failed; I have drawn near to old age, O Savior, to the very gates of death.

The ruler of the world comes, wishing to search out my works and my deeds, my shameful and profane ones; the executioners stand by, looking at me pitilessly, and await the command to receive it and to drag my wretched soul down into the pit of Hades, O Savior.

Do you hope to escape my hands, because, having forsaken me, you went to Christ and have now spurned my commandments?

But you will by no means escape; for where indeed will you go?

You will never at all have the strength to escape me completely — I who led Adam and Eve out of paradise, who made Cain the murderer of his brother, who at the time of the flood, by my deceits, wretchedly enticed all together, to the very end, to fall into error and dreadful death, who led David astray to adultery and murder, who raised war against all the saints and put many to death — how then do you, altogether weak, dare and expect to escape me?

Hearing these things, O Master and my God and Creator, my Maker and Judge, you who have authority over my soul and body as the fashioner of both, I shudder and am wholly afraid, I wholly tremble, wretch that I am.

The deceitful one puts this before me and says, O my Christ: 'Look, you do not keep vigil; look, you do not practice self-control; look, you have not acquired prayer; you do not make prostrations; you show none of the labors you once undertook — and for these things alone I will separate you from Christ, and take you with me into the unquenchable fire.'

I, then, O Master, as you know, never entrusted the salvation of my soul to works or deeds, but ran, taking courage, to your mercy, O lover of mankind, trusting that you would save me freely, O all-compassionate one, and would have mercy, as God, as once on the harlot and on the prodigal son — saying only, 'I have sinned!'

Thus believing I ran, thus taking courage I came, thus hoping, O Master, I arrived before you; and now let him not boast against me, your servant, let him not say, 'Where is your Christ, where is your helper?'

Did not he himself hand you over into my hands?

Did he not deliver you into my hands, the enemy's hands, and suddenly turn away from you, suddenly hate you?

Do not, then, O Savior, having heard these things, abandon me; do not let me become a reproach to you, O my God; do not, O King, do not, O Lord — you who once led me out of the darkness, and out of that one's hands and jaws, and set me, free, before your light.

For seeing you, I am wounded within my heart, and I have not the strength to look upon you, yet I cannot bear not to see you; unapproachable is your beauty, inimitable your form, incomparable your glory — and who has ever seen you, or who could ever be able to see you wholly, you, my God?

For what eye will have the strength to behold the All?

And what mind could comprehend him who is beyond the All, or be able to encompass him, or extend itself wholly toward the whole, and behold the sustainer of all things — him who is outside all things, yet fills the All and all things, and again is himself wholly outside, ineffably?

Yet I see you as the sun, and I behold you as a star, and I carry you in my bosom like a pearl, and I see you as a lamp kindled within a vessel.

But because you are not enlarged within me, because you do not make me wholly light and do not show yourself to me wholly, such and as great as you are, I do not think that I possess you at all, my life; rather I mourn, as one who has become poor from being rich, and dishonored from being glorious, and has no hope.

Seeing this, then, the enemy says to me: 'You are not being saved; for behold, you have fallen away, you have missed your hopes, because you no longer have toward God the boldness of speech you once had.'

To him I speak not a word, I do not deign, my God, but I breathe upon him, and he at once vanishes.

Thus I ask, O Master, thus I entreat: grant your compassion, and then, my Savior, when my soul departs from my body, may I have strength, by that breath alone, to put to shame all who are about to rush upon me, your servant, and to pass through unharmed, guarded by the light of your Spirit, and to stand before your judgment seat, possessing your divine grace, O Christ, present with me, sheltering me, showing me wholly unashamed.

...possesses grace and is illumined by it?

How could anyone at all be able to behold that unbearable glory?

For how shall man have the strength to behold the glory of God, and how shall lowly human nature behold the nature of the Godhead?

For God is uncreated, but we are all created; he is incorruptible, but we are corruptible and dust; he is by nature spirit, and above all spirit, being the maker and master of spirits, while we are earthy flesh and a substance of earth; he is the maker of all things, without beginning and incomprehensible, while we are together worms, and mire, and ash. And who among us shall ever have the strength to see him by his own power or energy at all, unless he himself send forth his Divine Spirit, and through him grant strength to the weakness of our nature, might and power, and make man capable of beholding his divine glory?

For otherwise no man will behold, nor have the strength to see, the Lord coming in glory; and thus the unrighteous will be separated from the righteous, and sinners will be covered with darkness — even all those who from this time do not have the light within themselves.

But those who are joined to him from this present life will then also be mystically joined to God, genuinely, and will be inseparable from participation in him; but those who have gone away, separated from his light, how will they then be united, or in what manner? This I wish to learn from you, or else to teach you: God became man, and was united to men, and partook of humanity, and gave a share of his divinity, through participation, to all who believe in him and show their faith by works.

He said, then, that only these are saved — those who have partaken of that one's divinity, just as he, the maker of all things, partook of our nature — as Paul testifies, that the church of Christ will become one body, the Lord's own and divine body, spotless and blameless together, without any wrinkle; whoever the faithful may be, with Christ as head.

If, then, this shall be so, as indeed it is, who then will dare, being defiled, to touch him? Or who, being unworthy, will be joined to him?

For if even now sinners are cast out of the church, and are altogether prevented from partaking — and rather those who are not holy are deprived even of the sight of the holy things — how then, alas, will they be united to the all-blameless body of God, and become members of Christ, being as they are defiled?

This is not so, brothers; it will not happen at all!

But those who are cut off from the divine body, that is, from the church and from the chorus of the elect — tell me, where then will they go? Into what kingdom, into what place do they hope to dwell? Tell me.

For assuredly paradise too, and the bosom of Abraham, and every place of rest, belong to those who are being saved; and those who are being saved are assuredly all of them holy, as all divine Scripture testifies and teaches.

For there are many mansions, but they are within the bridal chamber; for just as there is one heaven, and in it stars differing from one another in honor and glory, so too there is one bridal chamber and one kingdom; indeed, paradise too, and the holy city, and every place of rest, is God alone.

For just as a man in this life has no rest who does not abide in God, with God abiding in him, so too after death, apart from him alone, I think there will be no rest, no place free from grief, from groaning, from affliction altogether.

Let us make haste, then, brothers, let us make haste, before the end, to be joined to God, the maker of all things, who came down to earth for our sake, wretched as we are, who bowed the heavens and was hidden from the angels, and dwelt in the womb of the holy Virgin, and was made flesh of her without change, ineffably, and came forth for the salvation of us all.

And this is indeed our salvation, as we have often said and now will say again — not we of ourselves, but the divine mouth has manifested the great light of the age to come.

And may we together become partakers of the kingdom of heaven, and joint-sharers of the glory, and heirs of the eternal good things, which no one has ever seen.

And these are — as I am persuaded, and believe, and declare — the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the Holy Trinity; this is the fountain of all good things, this is the life of all beings, this is delight and rest, this is raiment and glory, this is inexpressible joy and the salvation of all who have partaken of his ineffable illumination and who have communion with him in conscious perception.

Hear: he is called Savior for this very reason, that to all to whom he is united he grants salvation; and salvation is the release from all evils, and at the same time the eternal finding of all good things — granting life instead of death, light instead of darkness, and complete freedom from slavery to the passions and to most shameful deeds, to all who are united to Christ, the Savior of all.

And they then acquire every joy that cannot be taken away, all exultation and all gladness; but those who are altogether separated from him, and have not sought him, nor been united to him, nor been delivered from slavery to the passions and to death — even if they are kings, even if they are rulers, even if they are magnates, even if they suppose that they live in luxury, or rejoice, or possess enjoyment, and think themselves to be among good things — will nevertheless never acquire such gladness as the servants of Christ possess, who, free from all improper desires, pleasures, and vainglory, have a joy unspeakable and altogether ineffable, which none will ever know, nor learn, nor perceive, save those who have clung to Christ knowingly and fervently, and have been mingled with him in ineffable union — to whom belong glory and honor, praise and every hymn, from all creation and every breath, unto the ages. Amen.

That it is better to be well shepherded than to shepherd those unwilling to be shepherded; for there will be no profit for one who is eager to save others, but who loses himself through his charge over them.

Speak, O Christ, to your servant; speak, O light of the world; speak, O knowledge of the universe; speak, O Word, O Wisdom, who foreknow all things, who foresee all things, and teach ungrudgingly what is profitable to us — speak, and teach me too the saving paths of your will, O Savior, and of your divine commandments.

Speak, and do not overlook me; do not hide, O my God, your divine will from your unworthy servant.

What is better in your sight, which of the two pleases you? Tell me, O loving Savior: that I be occupied with the cares of the monastery's affairs, and provide ungrudgingly for bodily needs, and contend for everything amid enmity and strife; or that I persevere always in stillness alone, and keep my mind and heart untroubled, and receive the radiance of your grace, and have the perceptions of my soul continually illumined, and be mystically resounded with divine words, and gently teach others while myself being taught likewise — for the one who speaks also speaks the words to himself — and this one above all is bound to do these things first.