安東尼傳 第 1 章 第 3/5 段

"Verily I say to you, I do not know you."

For "the Lord does not know the ways of the ungodly."

And in general one ought to pray, as I said before, to receive the gift of discerning of spirits;

so that, as it is written, we may not believe every spirit.

Now I should have wished to keep silent, and to say nothing of my own, but to content myself with these things alone;

but lest you should think that I say these things idly, and rather that you may believe from experience and truth that I relate them;

for this reason, even though I become as a fool, yet the Lord who hears knows the purity of my conscience, and that it is not for my own sake, but for the sake of your love and exhortation, that I again tell these things which I have seen of the demons' devices.

How often did they call me blessed, and I cursed them in the name of the Lord!

How often did they foretell concerning the river's water, and I said to them:

And what concern is this of yours? Once they came threatening, and surrounded me like soldiers in full armor.

And another time they filled the house with horses and wild beasts and reptiles;

"These trust in chariots, and these in horses;

but we will be magnified in the name of the Lord our God";

and by my prayers they were overthrown by the Lord.

Once they came in darkness, bearing an illusion of light, and said:

"We have come to give you light, Antony";

but I, closing my eyes, prayed, and at once the light of the ungodly was quenched.

And after a few months they came as though chanting psalms, and speaking from the Scriptures;

but I was like a deaf man who did not hear.

Once they shook the monastery;

but I prayed, remaining unmoved in my resolve.

And after these things they came again, clapping, hissing, and dancing.

But as I prayed, and lay singing psalms to myself;

at once they began to wail and weep, as though their strength had failed;

and I glorified the Lord, who had brought down and made a public example of their daring and madness.

Once a demon appeared, exceedingly tall, with an apparition, and dared to say:

"I am the power of God;

what do you wish that I should grant you?" But I then breathed against him all the more, naming Christ, and attempted to strike him;

and I seemed to have struck him, and at once that great one, with all his demons, vanished away at the name of Christ.

Once, when I was fasting, the deceiver came as a monk, having an illusion of loaves [and said]:

"Eat, and cease from your many toils;

you too are a man, and you are going to fall sick."

But I, perceiving his stratagem, rose up to pray;

for he gave out, and appeared going forth through the door like smoke.

How often in the desert did he show an illusion of gold, only that I might touch and look upon it!

but I sang psalms against him, and he melted away.

Often they beat me with blows, and I would say:

"Nothing shall separate me from the love of Christ";

and rather, after this, they fell to cutting up one another.

But it was not I who stopped them and brought them to nothing;

rather it was the Lord, who said:

"I beheld Satan fall like lightning from heaven."

And I, children, mindful of the apostolic saying, transferred these things to myself, that you may learn not to grow faint in asceticism, nor to fear the devil and the illusions of his demons.

And since I have become a fool in narrating these things, receive this also for [your] security and fearlessness:

Once someone knocked at my door in the monastery;

and going out, I saw someone appearing tall and lofty.

"Why, then, are you here?" That one said:

"Why do the monks, and all the other Christians, blame me without cause? Why do they curse me every hour?" And when I said:

"Why, then, do you trouble them?" He said:

"It is not I who trouble them, but they themselves disturb themselves;

Have they not read: 'The swords of the enemy have failed utterly, and you have demolished cities'? I no longer have a place, nor a weapon, nor a city.

Everywhere Christians have come to be;

and now even the desert has been filled with monks.

Let them keep guard over themselves, and let them not curse me in vain."

Then I, marveling at the grace of the Lord, said to him:

"Though you are always a liar, and never speak the truth, yet now, even against your will, you have spoken this truly;

for Christ, having come, has made you weak, and casting you down, has stripped you bare."

And he, hearing the name of the Savior, and unable to bear the burning that came from it, became invisible.

If, then, the devil himself confesses that he can do nothing, we ought utterly to despise both him and his demons.

Now the enemy, together with his hounds, has all these many wiles;

but we, having learned their weakness, are able to despise them.

Let us not, therefore, in this way be cast down beforehand in our minds, nor brood in our soul on cowardice, nor fashion fears for ourselves, saying:

'Perhaps a demon will come and overthrow me;

perhaps he will lift me up and dash me down, or appearing suddenly will throw me into confusion.'

Let us not entertain such thoughts at all, nor grieve as though we were perishing;

rather let us take courage and rejoice always, as those who are being saved;

and let us reckon in our soul that the Lord is with us, who has routed and brought them to nought.

And let us always consider and bear in mind that, the Lord being with us, the enemies will do us no harm.

For when they come, they become toward us such as they find us, and they conform their phantoms to the thoughts they find in us.

If, then, they find us fearful and troubled, at once they themselves, like robbers finding the place unguarded, mount the attack;

and what we ourselves imagine, this they bring about with additions.

For if they see us afraid and cowardly, they greatly increase our cowardice through phantoms and threats, and thereafter the wretched soul is tormented by these.

But if they find us rejoicing in the Lord, and reckoning on the good things to come, and meditating on the things of the Lord, and reasoning that all things are in the Lord's hand, and that no demon prevails against a Christian, nor has any authority at all over anyone;

seeing the soul secured by such thoughts, they turn away ashamed.

Thus the enemy, seeing Job fenced about, withdrew from him;

but finding Judas stripped of these defences, he took him captive.

So then, if we wish to despise the enemy, let us always reckon on the things of the Lord, and let the soul ever rejoice in hope;

and we shall see the demons' sports as smoke, and themselves fleeing rather than pursuing.

For they are exceedingly cowardly, as I said before, ever awaiting the fire prepared for them.

And keep this also by you as a token for fearlessness against them:

Whenever any apparition occurs, do not fall down beforehand in cowardice, but whatever it may be, take courage and ask first:

'Who are you, and whence?' And if it be a vision of holy ones, they will reassure you, and turn your fear into joy;

but if it be some diabolical thing, at once it grows weak, seeing the mind firm;

for it is a token of calmness simply to inquire:

'Who are you, and whence?' Thus the son of Nun, by asking, learned.

While Antony was discoursing on these things, all rejoiced;

in some the love of virtue was kindled, and in others self-conceit was put to rest;

and all were persuaded to despise the demons' devices, marvelling at the grace given to Antony by the Lord for the discernment of spirits.

There were then in the mountains the monasteries like tents filled with divine choirs—singing psalms, loving learning, fasting, praying, exulting in the hope of things to come, working so as to give alms, and having love and harmony toward one another.

And it was truly possible to behold, as it were, a land of its own, a land of piety and righteousness.

For there was neither one wronging nor one being wronged, nor any complaint of a tax-collector;

but a multitude of ascetics, and among them all one single purpose toward virtue.

So that one, seeing again the monasteries and such an ordered array of monks, would cry aloud and say:

'How fair are your dwellings, O Jacob, your tents, O Israel!

Like shady glens, like a garden by a river, like tents which the Lord has pitched, like cedars beside the waters.'

He himself, however, as was his custom, retiring by himself in his own monastery, intensified his asceticism, and daily groaned as he meditated on the mansions in heaven, having his longing set on them, and considering the fleeting life of men.

For when he was about to eat and sleep, and to attend to the other necessities of the body, he was ashamed, considering the spiritual nature of the soul.

Often, indeed, when about to eat with many other monks, calling to mind spiritual food, he would excuse himself and depart far from them, thinking it a thing to blush at, if he were seen eating by others;

he ate, however, by himself, because of the body's necessity;

and often also with the brethren;

feeling shame on this account, yet speaking with boldness in words for their benefit.

And he used to say that one ought to give all one's leisure to the soul rather than to the body, and to concede a little time to the body because of necessity, but to devote the whole rather to the soul and to seek its benefit;

so that the soul might not be dragged down by the body's pleasures, but rather the body be brought into bondage by it;

for this, he said, is what was spoken by the Saviour:

'Take no thought for your soul, what you shall eat, nor for the body, what you shall put on.'

'And do not you seek what you shall eat or what you shall drink, neither be of doubtful mind;

for all these things do the nations of the world seek after.

But your Father knows that you have need of all these things.

Only seek first His kingdom, and all these things shall be added unto you.'

After this there came upon the Church the persecution which arose at that time under Maximinus;

and when the holy martyrs were being led to Alexandria, he too followed, leaving his monastery, saying:

'Let us also go, that we may contend if we are called, or behold those who are contending.'

And he had a longing to be a martyr;

but, not willing to give himself up, he ministered to the confessors both in the mines and in the prisons.

And he had great zeal in the tribunal, urging on to eagerness those who were called to contend, and receiving those who were bearing witness and escorting them until they were made perfect (in martyrdom).

The judge, then, seeing the fearlessness of him and of those with him, and their zeal for this, gave orders that none of the monks should appear in the tribunal, nor remain at all in the city.

All the others, then, thought it well to hide themselves that day;

but Antony took such heed that he even rather washed his outer garment, and on the next day stood in front on a high place, and appeared resplendent to the governor.

For he too prayed to be a martyr, as I said before.

He, then, seemed grieved that he had not been martyred;

but the Lord was guarding him for our benefit and that of others, that even in the asceticism which he himself had learned from the Scriptures he might become a teacher to many.

For indeed, merely seeing his conduct, many became eager to be imitators of his way of life.

Again, then, he ministered as usual to the confessors, and as though bound together with them, he toiled in the services.

And when at last the persecution ceased, and the blessed bishop Peter had been martyred, he departed and withdrew again to the monastery, and was there daily a martyr to his conscience, contending in the struggles of faith.

For he practised an asceticism much greater and more intense;

for he fasted continually, and his garment was hair-cloth within and skin without, which he kept even until his death; neither did he wash his body with water for dirt, nor at all wash his feet, nor even simply allow them to be put into water without necessity;

but neither did anyone ever see him naked, nor did anyone at all see Antony's body bare, except when, having died, he was buried.

Now while he was withdrawing, and had purposed to spend a period of time so as neither to go forth himself nor to receive anyone, a certain Martinianus, an officer of soldiers, came and became troublesome to Antony;

for he had a daughter troubled by a demon.

And as he persisted a long while, knocking at the door and beseeching him to come out and pray to God for the child;

he did not consent to open, but leaning over from above, he said:

'Man, why do you cry out to me? I too am a man even as you are.

But if you believe in Christ, whom I serve, go, and pray to God according as you believe, and it shall come to pass.'

At once, then, that man, believing and calling upon Christ, departed, having his daughter cleansed from the demon.

And many other things also the Lord wrought through him, He who says:

'Ask, and it shall be given you.'

For very many of the suffering, when he did not open the door to them, merely slept outside the monastery, and believing and praying sincerely, were cleansed.

But when he saw himself thronged by many and not permitted to withdraw according to his own purpose, as he wished;

fearing lest, on account of the things the Lord did through him, either he himself should be exalted, or someone should account of him beyond what he was, he took counsel and set out to go up to the upper Thebaid, to those who did not know him.

So, having received loaves from the brethren, he sat by the banks of the river, watching whether perhaps a boat might pass by, that embarking he might go up with them.

But while he was considering these things, a voice came to him from above:

'Antony, where are you going, and why?' And he, not being troubled, but as one accustomed to be called thus often, hearkening, answered, saying:

'Since the crowds do not permit me to be at peace, for this reason I wish to go up to the upper Thebaid, because of the many disturbances here brought upon me, and especially because of their demanding from me things beyond my power.'

'Even if you go up to the Thebaid, or even, as you intend, go down to the cattle-pastures, you will have to endure more and double toil.

But if you truly wish to be at peace, go up now to the inner desert.'

And when Antony said:

'And who will show me the way? for I am unacquainted with it';

at once He showed him certain Saracens who were about to travel that road.

Approaching, then, and drawing near to them, Antony asked to go away with them into the desert.

And they, as though by the command of Providence, eagerly received him;

and journeying three days and three nights with them, he came to a mountain exceedingly high;

and there was water beneath the mountain, most clear, sweet, and very cold;

and a few neglected palm trees.

Antony, then, as though moved by God, loved the place;

for this was that which He who spoke to him by the banks of the river had indicated.

Having at the outset received loaves from those who had travelled with him, he remained alone on the mountain, no one else being with him;

for, recognizing it as his own house, he henceforth held that place.

The Saracens themselves, beholding Antony's earnestness, used to pass along that road on purpose, and rejoicing brought him loaves;

and he had also at that time some small and poor solace from the palm trees.

But after this, when the brethren learned of the place, they, like children remembering a father, took care to send to him;

but Antony, seeing that on the pretext of the bread some were being wearied there and enduring toil,

sparing the monks in this matter also, he took counsel with himself, and asked some of those coming to him to bring him a hoe, an axe, and a little grain.

And when these were brought, going about the land around the mountain, and finding a very small suitable spot, he tilled it;

and having abundant watering from the water, he sowed.

And doing this year by year, he had bread from thence;

rejoicing that on this account he would be burdensome to no one, and that in all things he kept himself a burden to none.

But after this, seeing again some coming, he tilled also a very few vegetables, that the one coming might have a little solace for the toil of that hard road.

Now at the outset the wild beasts in the desert, coming on the pretext of the water, often damaged his crop and his husbandry;

but he, gracefully catching one of the beasts, said to them all:

'Why do you harm me, when I harm none of you? Depart, and in the Lord's name draw no nearer to these things.' And from that time onward, as though afraid of the command, they no longer drew near the place.

He himself, then, was alone in the inner mountain, devoting himself to prayers and asceticism;

but the brethren who served him asked him that, coming once in some months, they might bring him olives, pulse, and oil;

Sojourning there, then, how many wrestlings he endured, according to that which is written, not against blood and flesh, but against the opposing demons, we learned from those who came to him.

For there too they heard tumults, and many voices, and crashings as of weapons;

and they beheld the mountain by night become full of wild beasts;

and they saw him also as it were fighting against beings beheld, and praying against them.

And those coming to him he encouraged, while he himself contended, bending his knees and praying to the Lord.

And it was truly worthy of wonder that, being alone in such a desert, he was neither dismayed when demons assailed him, nor, though there were so many four-footed beasts and reptiles there, did he fear their savagery;

but truly, according to that which is written, he trusted in the Lord like Mount Zion, having his mind unshaken and untossed;

so that rather the demons fled, and the wild beasts, as it is written, were at peace with him.

And Antony was comforted by the Saviour, remaining unharmed from that one's craftiness and manifold scheming.

Now while he was keeping vigil one night, he (the enemy) let loose wild beasts upon him;

and almost all the hyenas in that desert, coming forth from their dens, encircled him, and he was in their midst;

and as each one gaped and threatened to bite, perceiving the enemy's device, he said to them all:

'If you have received authority against me, I am ready to be devoured by you;

but if you have been sent by demons, do not delay, but withdraw;

for I am a servant of Christ.' As Antony said these things, they fled, driven away as though by the lash of his word.

Then, a few days later, as he was working (for it was his care also to labour), someone standing at the door pulled the cord of his work;

for he used to plait baskets, and these he gave to those coming in, in exchange for the things brought to him.

Rising up, he saw a beast resembling a man as far as the thighs, but having its legs and feet like an ass.

And Antony merely signed himself with the cross, and said:

'I am a servant of Christ. If you have been sent against me, behold, here I am.'

And the beast, together with its demons, so fled that, by reason of its speed, it fell and died.

And the death of the beast was the downfall of the demons.

For they were eager to do everything, that they might bring him down out of the desert, and they could not prevail.

Being once asked by the monks to come down to them, and to visit both them and the places after a time, he journeyed with the monks who had met him;

and a camel carried for them the loaves and the water.

For that whole desert is waterless, and there is no drinkable water at all, except in that one mountain only, whence also they drew water, in which his monastery also is.

Now when the water failed on the way, and the heat being most intense, all were in danger of perishing.

For having gone about the places and found no water, they could no longer even walk, but lay on the ground, and let the camel go off, despairing of themselves.

But the old man, seeing all in danger, being greatly grieved and groaning, departed a little from them, and bending his knees and stretching out his hands, prayed;

and at once the Lord caused water to come forth where he stood praying;

and thus all, having drunk, revived;

and having filled the skins, they sought the camel, and found it;

for it happened that the rope had got entangled about a certain rock, and so it was held fast.

Leading it, then, and giving it water, they put the skins upon it and journeyed on unharmed.

And when he came to the outer monasteries, all, beholding him as a father, greeted him.

And he himself, as though bringing provisions from the mountain, feasted them with words, and imparted to them of the benefit.

And again there was joy in the mountains, and zeal for progress, and comfort through the faith they had in one another.

He himself, then, also rejoiced, beholding the eagerness of the monks, and his sister grown old in virginity, herself too presiding over other virgins.

After some days, then, he went up again into the mountain;

and thereafter many came in to him;

and others who were suffering ventured to come in.

Now to all the monks who came in to him, he continually gave this charge: to believe in the Lord and to love Him, and to guard themselves from foul thoughts and fleshly pleasures, and, as it is written in the Proverbs, not to be deceived by the filling of the belly;

to flee vainglory, and to pray continually, and to sing psalms before sleep and after sleep, and to commit to memory the precepts in the Scriptures, and to remember the deeds of the saints, that the soul, being reminded by the commandments, might be set in order by zeal for these.

And he especially counselled them to meditate continually on the saying of the Apostle:

'Let not the sun go down upon your wrath';

and to consider this said in common concerning every commandment, that not upon wrath only, but neither upon any other sin of ours, should the sun go down;

for it is good and necessary that neither the sun should condemn us for daytime wickedness, nor the moon for nighttime sin, or indeed for any (evil) thought.

That this, then, may be preserved in us, it is good to hearken to the Apostle and to keep his word:

'Examine yourselves, and prove your own selves.'

Daily, then, let each one take account with himself of the deeds of the day and of the night;

and if he has sinned, let him cease;

but if he has not sinned, let him not boast;

but let him continue in the good, and not grow slack, nor condemn his neighbour, nor justify himself, as the blessed Apostle Paul said, until the Lord come, who searches out the hidden things.

For often even from ourselves we are hidden as to the things we do;

and we ourselves do not know, but the Lord comprehends all things.

Giving the judgment, then, to Him, let us have compassion on one another, and let us bear one another's burdens, but let us examine ourselves, and what we lack, let us be eager to fill up.

And let this also be an observance for security against sinning:

Let each one note and write down the deeds and movements of the soul, as though about to report them to one another;

and be confident that, being altogether ashamed to have them known, we shall cease from sinning, and from harbouring anything base in our thoughts at all.

For who, when sinning, wishes to be seen? Or who, having sinned, does not rather lie, wishing to escape notice? Just as, then, seeing one another we would not commit fornication, so, if we write down our thoughts as though reporting them to one another, we shall the more keep ourselves from foul thoughts, being ashamed to have them known.

Let the writing, then, be to us instead of the eyes of our fellow-ascetics;

that, blushing to write as much as to be seen, we may not at all entertain base things;

and thus moulding ourselves, we shall be able to bring the body into bondage, and to please the Lord, and to trample on the schemings of the enemy.

These things, then, he charged upon those who met with him;

but with those who were suffering he suffered together, and prayed together with them;

and often and in many cases the Lord hearkened to him;

and neither did he boast when heard, nor murmur when not heard;

but always he himself gave thanks to the Lord, and he exhorted those who were suffering to be patient, and to know that the healing belonged neither to him, nor at all to men, but only to God, who does it when He wills, and to whom He pleases.

The sufferers, then, received the old man's words also as a healing, themselves too learning not to be faint-hearted, but rather to be patient;

and those who were healed were taught to give thanks not to Antony, but to God alone.

There was, for instance, one called Fronto, who happened to be from the imperial court, and had a grievous affliction—for he was gnawing his own tongue, and his eyes were in danger of being injured—who, coming into the mountain, asked Antony to pray for him.

And he, having prayed, said to Fronto:

When he urged him strongly and remained inside for days, Antony persisted in saying:

'You will not be able to be healed by remaining here.

Go out, and when you reach Egypt, you will see the sign wrought upon you.'

That man, believing, went out;

and as soon as he saw Egypt, he ceased from his affliction, and the man became whole, according to the word of Antony, which he had learned from the Saviour when he prayed.

And a certain virgin from Busiris in Tripolis had a grievous and very loathsome affliction.

For her tears, and the mucus, and the discharges falling to the ground from her ears, at once became worms;

and she was also paralysed in body, and had her eyes not in their natural state.

Her parents, learning that monks were going off to Antony, believing in the Lord who healed the woman with the issue of blood, asked to journey together with these, along with their daughter.

And when these consented, the parents with the child remained outside the mountain with Paphnutius the confessor and monk;

but the others went in, and just as they wished to report concerning the virgin, he anticipated them, and himself recounted both the child's affliction and how she had journeyed with them.

And when they asked that they too might come in, this he did not permit, but said:

'Go, and you will find her healed, unless she has died.

For this is no achievement of mine, that she should come even to me, a pitiable man;

but the healing is the Saviour's, who works His mercy in every place to those who call upon Him.

To her also, then, as she prayed, the Lord granted it, and His lovingkindness has shown to me that He will heal the affliction while the child is there (outside).'

The wonder, accordingly, came to pass, and going out they found the parents rejoicing, and the child now in health.

And when two certain brethren were coming in, and the water failed on the way, the one died, and the other was about to die;

being no longer able to journey, he too lay on the ground, expecting to die.

But Antony, sitting in the mountain, called two monks (for it happened that these were there), and urged them, saying:

'Take a jar of water, and run the road toward Egypt;

for of two who are coming, the one has just died, and the other will die, unless you make haste.'

'For this has now been revealed to me as I prayed.'

The monks, then, coming, found the one lying dead, and they buried him, but the other they revived with the water, and brought him to the old man;

for the distance was a day's journey.

But if anyone should ask why he did not speak before the other died,

he does not rightly inquire in saying this.

For the sentence of death was not Antony's, but God's, who both judged concerning that one and revealed concerning this one.